When you fall in love with someone you forge an amazingly close bond that transcends friendship. But sometimes even the tightest bonds break, even the greatest love fades, and even once-strong marriages fall apart. When this happens, aside from your sadness, you might feel trapped and realize you need to get out of a bad marriage.
It doesn’t matter what it was built on—respect, teamwork, or lust—things have changed. Saving the marriage might seem impossible; if you can do it, it’s going to take a lot of work. But first, you must determine whether your relationship is at risk of falling apart.
How to get out of a bad marriage
The most important way to go about saving a relationship is to—as objectively as possible—try to determine what’s not working (and why). These six signs will help you identify whether your relationship is failing before you decide to get out of a bad marriage.
1. Constant disagreements that lead into intense argument
Having a different opinion than your partner is common, and may even help the two of you to learn and bond. However, when disagreements get out of hand and transform into yelling, screaming, or explosive quarrels, it's time to stop and reevaluate what's happening.
When partners try to force each other to see, accept, or do things a particular way—in other words, your way—the only thing that is accomplished is that the emotional distance between the couple increases. This is a definite sign of trouble in your relationship.
2. The sight of your partner evokes negative feelings
When the sight of your partner negatively affects your mood or depresses you, it’s a red light indicating trouble in your marriage or relationship. Similarly, if your significant other is not enthusiastic to see you, it’s a sure sign that your relationship is not working and that something needs to be altered.
3. Lack of understanding for each other
We will never completely understand another person, as we cannot read minds. However, when misunderstanding becomes the norm in a relationship it can cause tension to build up, and this is a sign that something is seriously wrong. If you are not in an alignment with your partner—if he or she feels like a stranger—you may feel like you want to get out of a bad marriage.
4. You stop making effort for each other
Think of the first few years of your marriage or relationship, when doing things for your partner was exciting. For example, cooking their favorite food, arranging a surprise party, writing love notes, etc. But now, you find it difficult to make this kind of effort as you no longer have thoughts that elicit warm emotions. In fact, you find it a chore to even do a simple task for the benefit of your partner. If this sounds like you, then your relationship has some underlying issues that need addressing.
Without effort, there will be no closeness in your relationship and your marriage will fall apart.
5. Moments of intimacy are few and far in between
It’s normal and acceptable that romance and intimacy decline after “the honeymoon period” is over. However, when there is low or no intimacy and romance then there is a clear sign of problems in your marriage. In fact, with no intimacy there is no closeness.
6. The relationship stops growing
All healthy relationships evolve so that both of you learn and adapt to new things that can occur—both inside and outside of the relationship.
If both partners aren't learning, improving, evolving, and being flexible to prepare for better things to happen, dullness will emerge. When things feel dull, thoughts of getting out of a bad marriage will haunt you.
Has your marriage or relationship ended?
If you have the desire to repair a relationship, it can be done. But you need to realize that what you consider a failing relationship is in your thoughts.
Uncover your thinking before you make the decision to get out of a bad marriage. It may be worth saving, and you deserve to live in a blissful and harmonious relationship.